All in all, my pregnancy has been going rather well. I've had the average morning sickness and what not, insomnia, and frequent nausea...but that's just part of the package. Up until the past week to 2 weeks I didn't really have too much sadness or stress over my body image. I just chalked it all up to the fact that I HAD to do it all no matter what. Don't get me wrong..I'm been very eager to begin a diet once the baby is born, but I just set it aside in my mind for another 6 months.
Then it happened...I had a bad weekend last weekend, and what do you think I do? I resorted to what I always had without even realizing it. It just happened. When I got to work and the girl that I work with asked what we should do for dinner I unintentionally said, "Oh, I'm sorry I already ate." Right away I noticed what I said and then realized that I hadn't eaten that day or the day before. I have since gotten much better, but throughout this pregnancy...it's just been hard to eat at all..not because of the demon.
Overall, I guess I just surprised myself because I thought that I would be able to notice when I was feeling that way. It just woke me up a little to see that I still resort to that whenever I am sad or uncomfortable. I should probably talk to Chris, but he seriously is not good at talking about stuff. He just looks at me and seems confused and bored. Haha!
That was very random and I'm rather embarassed, but oh well. I guess I was just checking if anybody could relate to resorting to it unknowingly sometimes. Well, have a great weekend :)
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2 comments:
I absolutely relate. ED can just sneak up sometimes, especially when I think I'm doing well so I let my guard down. Sometimes I'll even think of it as a little game instead of an ED, and then when I recognize it for what it is, I'm like WOAH! how'd you get here ED??
I danced with ED all through my pregnancy too. I'm really sorry that you are dealing with him now. I wish he had a crotch, because I'd buy steel-toed boots. :)
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