So, one of my best friends(yes I have 3..hehe), well she is moving very very far away. At least I consider it pretty far, New Zealand isn't exactly the easiest road trip right? I'm really happy for her because when she graduated college she was sad because she didn't know what she wanted to do with her life. She's insanely brilliant, but just lost as to what will make her happy. So she decided to go spend a year in New Zealand. Haha! Well, she leaves on Tuesday and of course I am being selfish. I'm really going to miss her. She is literally the only person in this world that knows everything about me. The only one! She is the only one that I could talk to if I wanted to. I'm not big on the whole gushing about my life, so it's rare that I open up anymore..but still :( I'm really happy that she is going to go out and have some fun, and another friend of our's decided that she would tag along so that's reassuring. I will get to see her again in August for a friend's wedding, but other than that...that's going to be about it. Chris and her don't like each other at all so I'm sure that neither of them will be gun-ho about road trips to visit. Ya know?
I guess this all leads to a very nervewracking moment nearing in my life...I'm friggin' moving! :) Haha.. For real though, I'm so anxious about Utah. I am really really nervous because here at school I was/am pretty well known and for the most part people really liked/like me. It wasn't because I'm pretty, skinny, or have a lot of money. It was because I'm outgoing and fake. At college, I choose not to show the pain inside. Everyone just sees me for a few attributes: I'm Stuart's sister, I use to be in 1,000 activities so you had to like me or your club didn't get funding, unfortunately I have a gigantic set of ladies, and my least favorite...I can drink enough for 13 people.
I'm nervous that when I get to Utah, that nobody will like me. I'm excited that I won't be known for any of those 4 things...well, maybe the ladies, but the other ones I am very ready to let go of. I'm afraid that once people see me without those..they won't like me. Then I will have to change, and then I will be right back where I was...well hopefully at the weight I was at(sorry-but it's what I am thinking).
I just really want to crawl in a whole because for one of the hardest things...I won't have my best friend and I'm scared. Well, that's my rant for the evening. I have to go do a lot of homework. Bye.
3 comments:
I'll be your new best friend. :) Seriously, I know that it's completely normal to have "moving anxiety" but I think it'll do you worlds of good to get out of frickin freezig N Daktoa and mot to a place with a fresh start and new beginning. I am really sorry about your real bestie moving, though. That's never easy.
It makes me sad to think that you don't feel like you are going to be liked out here. I can't tell you how excited I am for you to come. I feel like we had a damn good time a year ago together and I can't wait to play in the real world. Hang in there and know that people care about you.
sav-
i am personally SO excited to get to see you once you move out here! what's not to like my dear?! im serious. although as brie said, its perfectly normal to feel anxious about it. don't tell yourself that you should feel anxious. if you are, you are, and thats okay! and i'm sorry you feel like you are losing your best friend. that sucks big time! maybe you could take a crazy kick ass trip to nz?! yeah! i love you dude!
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